GoBarefoot Blog

GoBarefoot Blog

Connecting The Development Sector


The only thought of being able to hold me in her hands, play with me, give a life out of her made my mother happy. Yes! She was pregnant. She was on the ninth cloud. 9 months were like a blessing. Those sweet talks even when she knew I won’t understand, my father’s love, care and pamper, everything added up in bringing me in this world. The day came, immense pain it was! It’s a baby girl!! The doctor exclaimed with joy. My parents were so happy with the news.

The moment I was taken to home, I was treated like their little angel. So many toys, so many gifts, my life was just perfect. Mother’s lap and father’s lullaby was my favorite time pass.

“Sleep, sleep my little princess, for you have so many dreams waiting

Let yourself be lost in the fairyland, for you have so many Goddesses waving!!”

Time passed by and the day came, when I called her “maa” for the very first time. Her eyes were filled with tears. Time passed, and the thought of sending me away from her gave her goose bumps. She sent me to school. Teaching me to eat, learn, read and write, she did very well. School was my second home. I grew up, so many friends to take care and such a lovely family. I really felt like a princess.

Life happened and I left the city for higher education. I sobbed most of the time because of loneliness. But, I managed to live because they managed to make me study after taking loans and mortgaging some valuables. My parents always motivated me, and there I came with a job in my hand, owing every single breath of mine to them.

But as it is truly said, no matter how much you love a girl, there always comes a day, you have to get her married. My parents started looking for the perfect match. Some they rejected, some I rejected. But, finally they got that one suitable match. Everything was going on well, but then something pinched my heart. The groom’s family demanded dowry.

Dowry, the only word strong enough to make a person weak. In simple terms, dowry is demanding money and valuables from the girl’s family so that groom’s family can have a luxurious life. But, are the boys so weak that they can’t make all that on their own? Taking money in the name bride’s luxury, they want their life to be comfortable? Giving birth to a girl child, taking care, making her get educated, is that really free of cost that they now need money in exchange of her getting married? I feel the world so low when old rituals like dowry, sati, female foeticide and female infanticide has so much support other than supporting girl education, increase in the rate of girl ratio etc. Burning the girl in case of less dowry, is this what we called getting married?

People call themselves advanced and modern, but still fail to understand that bringing up the girl child is no way less than that of a boy child. In addition to this, girl is leaving her family, her parents, and her surname in some cases, just to get married. Is that so less that they need huge amount of money?

World has advanced, but there still exist people with that low mentality where they ask for dowry if you want your girl to get married. Girls in today’s world are independent. They work and earn for their living. Then why do we need that old tradition of dowry? Parents spend lakhs of money to educate the girl and then this dowry adds up to their miserable condition. This is the reason why girls are still considered to be a burden in some families, no matter how much they work. Such so-called Indian traditions are being imposed on the girl’s family and parents do against their wish for the betterment of their daughters.

Few lines on this to describe the condition of those parents who give dowry to the groom’s family:

“beti hai meri, nahi hai koi saaman,

 Toot jata hu jab krta hu uska kanyadaan.

Lalach ke lobhi log, tum log kya samjhoge hamara dard,

Beti bhi us ghar me aati hai jahan log nibhate hai apna farz.

Beti karna nai hai aasan, izzat deni padti hai,

Pyar se use seench kar, dusre har bhejni padti hai.

Dahej mangna aasan hai, par hamari punji hai jeevan bhar ki

Na karo bhed bhao beti ko lejane k liye, na jhukao hamara sir.

Khushi se vida karna chahte hai use, bechna nai

Taulo mat is tarah meri beti ko, insaan hai wo, koi saaman nai.

Taulo mat is tarah meri beti ko, insaan hai, koi saaman nai…..”


This is for all those people, who think demanding dowry is a matter of being proud of something. No, it is not. Let a girl be a boon to a family and not a bane.

The day all families understand this, that day we will be able to eradicate dowry system and the girl child will be equally important. Let her live and marry peacefully, for she is not a thing to be measured.



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