It happens in our everyday lives, that we forget reacting and acting tactfully to problems, and complicate them even further. No matter how much we want that issue/ problem in hand to end and bring peace to us, we fail to turn the tables around. I would like to quote some simple everyday situations in our lives where we fail to act in the right way. These are as follows:
- If a child gets low marks, he is labelled as a low scorer and some more discouraging comments are passed , like “You cannot study at all”, ” You won’t be able to achieve anything in life”.
- If somebody in a relationship is continuously being ignored and disrespected, he/she tries to win that back by constantly poking the other partner and nagging him/her.
- If you fail once, you automatically feel discouraged for some time, but instead of getting away from that feeling, you act on it and make future decisions based on the past results.
Observing all the above situations carefully we find that the person who is reacting in these situations really wants things to be good. Then why not cultivate a little patience and tact and handle things in the right way! Now considering the first situation, the first way to handle the low academic performance of the child should be first taking him into confidence then following these steps:
- Ask and analyse where he is doing wrong.
- Come up with ways to find solutions for the problem areas.
- Implement the solutions gradually, and not all at once, otherwise the child might get pressurised.
- Also ask for the opinion of the child and be aware of his comfort level in following the study schedule.
- Boost his self-esteem by means of involving him in other areas of his interests and appreciate his success.
- Never bribe the child to study, because education is his right.The child might not realise and could find it boring, but still one day he will thank you!
In the second situation where someone is continuously being rejected and ignored in the relationship, the automatic reaction of the mind is to fight back and seek attention in any way it can, some people might also resort to blackmailing the partners or giving threats! This would in turn naturally degrade the existing respect of the person in front of his ignoring partner. Also it makes everybody think that the person has no life of his own and doesn’t think about anything else but his emotional needs or attachment.
Instead of dealing like this the other way is to distance a little bit so that the partner who is ignoring you at that moment has a little space to think what he is doing. Also it gives you both a little time to think about the flaw in your communication or the validity of your expectations. Last but not the least; you need to give yourself time! Because sometimes we are so hollow and insatiable that we keep trying to find that completeness in other people or even things. So instead,you should follow your dreams, do what makes you happy, learn a new skill, utilise your maximum potential, so that slowly you drift a level above your present one and become able to handle even rejection in a constructive way. And always remember, happy people are the most attractive people!
Finally, dealing with a failure to attain your goal comprises of having the ability to never give up, learning from mistakes and making new and improvised action plans at every step. When you stereotype your results and actions, you limit the possibility for growth and change in future. So improvise your action plan at every point of your journey towards achieving your goal, but never give up. We as human beings have changed the face of the earth in such a short span of time with our boundless mental and physical energy, and we all are equal yet unique in our different ways. When you train your mind to seek growth and success, it will achieve that each and every day! So always remember a great plan, exceptional discipline and the ability to never give up is the road to success.